Exactly. I just realized that my life could have been totally, completely different.
If my dad had decided to move to Australia in 2008, my life would have been incredibly different. I wouldn’t have been in Canada, so I wouldn’t know all the great people I met there. I wouldn’t have been in England and Ireland the past summers, same as above.I wouldn’t have attended my high school, so I wouldn’t know all my best friends. I wouldn’t have met my best friend, which I first met in late 2008. I really don’t know what could have happened in my life, because I cannot know who I would have met there in Australia.
I have no pin points to start from.
I only know that 90%, probably more, of my current friends wouldn’t even be a part of my life, and this is so scaring to me. I just realized how much my life is based on pure coincidence. Fuck. What would have happened if I didn’t do what I did? What would have changed? These questions are so agitating to me. For real. I’m so happy about the fact that I met the people I met, I have some awesome friends and this is not an obvious thing.
I’m really thankful for that.
My friends are fundamental to me. The fact that I can rely on them really helps me figure out stuff. I like being on my own but interacting with people is something i NEED to do. Exchanging information, chatting, checking out ideas and projects. I like thinking of myself as a creative person, I like creating stuff and when I do, I show it to my friends for advice and more ideas.
Without them my creations would be purposeless.
I like my life as it is right now. I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world, if it went this way there has to be a reason. This could sound as a non-sense because of what I wrote above about coincidence in life, but there is a sense: there is a reason because those coincidences happened, there has to be.
And I don’t think that reason is God or anything like that, as I don’t believe in it. I still need to figure out that reason, and it’s not gonna be easy. And it’s gonna be long.